Chapter 15

A/N: This was SUPPOSED to be THE chapter…but it wasn’t right. Not yet. It’s coming. Hang on. Today’s lyrics are given to us by The Pretty Reckless, and if you’ve ever seen How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the young lady who played Cindy Lou Who back then, is the lead vocals of the band.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Chuck

They rode in silence to the Farmer’s Market. Jack driving the truck, Sarah sitting in the middle, and Chuck by the passenger door.

As they pulled up into the parking lot, Jack finally spoke. “So, the secret is to use a second towel after you’ve dried off to make sure there aren’t any damp spots on you,” he said. Sarah kept looking straight ahead, using all of her training to keep a straight face.

“Thank you,” Chuck said, unable to look at Jack.

Jack parked the truck, went to turn off the ignition, paused, and added, “Of course, the real secret is to not work yourself so hard you need it to start with, but, you’re a smart guy, you’ll figure that out.” With that, Jack turned off the truck, opened the door, and got out.

Sarah burst out laughing.

}o{

“You okay with Dad and I helping you to carry these boxes of avocados?” Sarah teased as they walked toward the stall. Chuck shook his head, grinning from the ribbing.

“I mean, I seem to be causing you to do a lot of extra work and giving up your space,” Chuck answered.

They sat down the boxes, and both of them turned toward the other.

“Gonna go check the truck, make sure we didn’t miss anything,” Jack said. Neither one heard him. “Oh, look, there’s a thing I should go do,” he said, shaking his head, walking off. “They’re both out of their depth,” he muttered.

“Sharing,” Sarah said. “It’s what partners do.”

“I’m not sharing a bed with Jack,” Chuck pointed out.

She stepped forward, closing the space between them. “If you want to, ask him, but if he says yes, and you go deaf, that’s your problem.”

“Sarah,” Chuck began, and he shook his head. “I feel like I’ve been forced into your world, and I know, Bryce also told you about me, but come on, this is…weird.”

“Do you not like it?” Sarah asked. Chuck didn’t know how to answer that. “Take out you being embarrassed by how we’re ‘forced’ together, and answer me honestly, are we doing anything you don’t enjoy?”

“The muscle aches aren’t fun,” Chuck replied.

“That’s an avoidant answer,” Sarah pointed out. Chuck couldn’t help but grin. “From your personal point of view, what is your biggest problem with what we are doing?”

He was silent for a moment. “This feels too good to be true,” he said softly.

“What does?” she asked.

“See, here’s the thing, you’re being avoidant as well the way you’re asking those questions,” he pointed out.

She held his gaze. “You think you and I are too good to be true?” She asked. “You think, there is no way we can just…click like this. That two people who have been through the shit we’ve been through can just find each other and be…this good together?”

“Well, that blew up spectacuarly in my face,” Chuck muttered, making her giggle. He took a deep breath. “Yeah,” he said. She reached over and took his hand. “Yeah, I’ve been happier in the past few days than I have any right to be.”

“Who says you don’t have the right to be happy?” Sarah asked him. “Society? The lives we lived before we met each other?”

“Sarah,” Chuck began.

“Chuck, this is important,” she told him.

“I get that, and I’m here, and we will have this conversation, but…I think there’s something more important you need to…deal with,” Chuck told her. She saw he kept glancing over her shoulder. She turned, frustrated.

“What in the….hell…could be….mom?” Sarah asked.

“Who’s the little girl with her?” Chuck asked.

“My kinda-sorta sister,” Sarah answered. The two looked at Jack, Emma, and the little girl. She looked up at Chuck, who was doing math in his head. “She’s adopted,” Sarah told him.

“Okay,” Chuck replied. “You…you should go talk to her.”

“I’m not ready,” Sarah said.

He took her hands. “Someone very wise said to me, ‘there is a also a place where it’s okay to discover who you are with someone else.’” She gave him a look. “I know, it is totally unfair for me to use your own words against you.”

“We’re gonna talk about that,” she said, trying to look upset, but the amused look on her face giving it away.

“I have a feeling we’re going to talk about a lot of things,” Chuck replied.

She studied him for a moment. “I should go talk to her.”

“You go, have family time, and your favorite employee will take care of selling the avocados,” he told her. She started to object to the word “employee”.

“Darlin’,” Jack called out. She turned to look at the three. She turned back to Chuck.

“Go,” he said. She nodded and went to her family. He smiled, he was happy for her. He truly was. She was getting her family back. “Now, to sell avocados.” He rubbed his hands together, eager to do his part. To be part of something.

}o{

“I’m sorry,” Emma began. “I know you-”

“Mom, no,” Sarah said, cutting her off. “I…I kept saying I wasn’t ready, but the truth was…I was scared.”

“I understand,” Emma said. She glanced back at Chuck who was smiling and selling the avocados like he was born to do so. “Your employee seems nice.”

“That’s Charlie,” Jack said before Sarah could say anything. “He’s our partner, not an employee.” Emma nodded. “Honestly, more like family.”

“Dad,” Sarah said.

“Fine, fine,” Jack replied, grinning. “You two okay?”

“Two avoidant people just being scared,” Sarah told him.

Emma chuckled. “What?” Sarah asked.

“I don’t need to tell you what to do, dear, you know,” Emma told her. Sarah watched Chuck for a moment, and nodded. “Yeah…I do.” She turned to Molly and scooped her up, making the little girl giggle. “We need to get you to come to the farm.”

“There’s probably a good place for a swing set on the property,” Jack told Sarah.

“I bet Chuck could find one in a heart beat,” Sarah said, holding the little girl who was snuggling against her.

“I-” Emma began.

“Come to dinner tomorrow,” Jack said softly. “Please, Em?”

“Okay,” Emma agreed. “Will he be okay with it?”

“Yeah, probably nervous as can be, but he’ll be fine, Mom,” Sarah answered.

“And why would he be nervous?” Emma asked, amused.

“He’s meeting the mom of his, and I quote, ‘whatever the hell they are’,” Jack said. Sarah didn’t even bother giving Jack a look. She just shook her head and chuckled as Emma and Jack laughed.

}o{

The week before Chuck’s birthday party

He felt the eyes on him and looked up and wished he hadn’t. The person made their way to him, their hair wild. “You are her.”

Chuck looked from one side to the other and then back at the person talking to him. He couldn’t even form words he was so confused. Chuck simply pointed at himself with a questioning look on his face.

The person nodded, and shot their hand forward grabbing Chuck’s right breast making Chuck’s eyes go wide. “You’re her. Your heart is the same.”

“That’s not,” Chuck began, working to remove the firm but gentle grasp from his right breast. “That’s not where the heart is,” he managed, yanking the hand away. “Where the hell is Lester?”

“Big Mike decided to have the two of them work separately,” Anna said, having materialized beside him, obviously enjoying what Chuck was going through.

“Why?” Chuck asked, wondering who would split these two up.

“Technically, he’s paying two people when they work together and getting nothing from either,” Anna told him. Chuck looked at Jeff, who was just staring at Chuck…almost like he was trying to see into Chuck’s soul.

“And what are you doing?” Chuck asked.

“Following Jeff and cleaning up his messes,” Anna said.

“So now he’s getting no customer service out of you, because you’re watching Jeff,” Chuck pointed out.

“Exactly,” Anna said, grinning proudly. “Oh, Big Mike has already figured out how badly he’s screwed up and has it fixed. Today is the last day.”“Wait, how long has this been going on?” Chuck asked.

“A week,” Anna said. Chuck’s eyes went wide, incredulous that he hadn’t noticed this chaos. “What can I say, I’m good.” Chuck had to agree with that. “But, back to Jeff’s gripping of your breast. Two questions. One, why? Two, it seemed gentle.”

“The second wasn’t a question,” Chuck muttered. Anna chuckled. “And it was,” he admitted, making her laugh. “As to the first question,” he said, both of them looking at Jeff, “HE would have to answer that.”

“Why did you molest Chuck?” Anna asked Jeff.

“He didn’t molest me,” Chuck said softly.

“Chuck, this is a safe space,” Anna said. Chuck gave her a look and her amused look grew. “Jeff?”

“He’s her,” Jeff said.

“Jeff, I need more,” Anna told him.

“He’s the lead singer of The Pretty Reckless,” Jeff answered.

“He actually knows a currant band?” Chuck asked, not hiding the incredulity from his voice.

“That’s on me,” Anna said. “I’ve been trying to get him to listen to stuff not from the eighties and nineties.”

“And how’s that going?” Chuck asked.

“Better than expected,” Anna replied. She turned back to Jeff. “Is it because they’re both tall and lanky?”

“No,” Jeff said, and began to reach again for Chuck’s right breast. Chuck flinched, but Anna’s hand shot out and caught Jeff’s wrist before his hand made contact with Chuck. “They both have pain in their heart.” He blinked. “I’m hungry,” he said. Anna let go of his hand and Jeff wandered off in the direction of the break room.

Anna looked at Chuck watching Jeff amble off. Chuck looked at her. “What?”

“He sees what you’re going through,” Anna said. “If Jeff can see it…”

“What’s he been listening to?” Chuck asked softly.

“‘Love Me,’ Anna replied. She studied him a second, turned and followed after Jeff. “NO!” she yelled like she was scolding a dog as he began to approach an attractive woman. Jeff turned away from the woman and headed on to the break room.

Chuck shook his head, and tried to get the entire exchange out of his head. He couldn’t help but rub his right breast where Jeff’s hand had been. He shook his head and snorted, pushing it all from his head.

}o{

Now

Jack had taken Molly over to Chuck to help him at the stand. Both women knew that was a lie. They stood there a moment watching. “Can we talk?” Sarah asked softly. She looked over at her mom and saw the grin on her face. “As my mom,” she added.

“Here’s the thing,” Emma said, linking her arm through Sarah’s and the two walking away from Jack, Chuck, and Molly. “I try and be mom for all my patients. I know I should be detached…”

“How could you though?” Sarah asked, being honest. “How can you have people be at their darkest…at their most vulnerable and not try and help them?”

“You can’t be ‘mom’,” Emma began.

“But you try and be supportive,” Sarah said. Emma nodded. “I don’t know what to do about him,” she blurted out.

Emma smiled, rubbed her daughter’s arm, and didn’t say anything as the two walked. She enjoyed giving people quiet and space and tell her in their words what was wrong. She knew her daughter usually wouldn’t be affected by this tactic, but her training told her that this was what Sarah needed.

“We’ve been sharing a bed, nothing happening,” she added quickly. “The other one in the house we’re staying in broke, and sleeping in the same house as dad with his snoring-”

“The one thing I do NOT miss about that man,” Emma muttered, making Sarah laugh. “And you’re a grown adult, what you do or do not do…”

“Mom,” Sarah said flatly, making Emma cackle. “You’re enjoying this,” she accused.

“Yes I am,” Emma replied, smiling, making Sarah grin. “My baby girl has found a good man.”

“You don’t know…” Sarah began but trailed off seeing the look on her mom’s face. “Dad?” Emma nodded. Sarah sighed but it was more performative than anything.

“There’s my pouty little girl,” Emma said. Sarah shook her head. “So what’s the problem.”

“He’s stuck,” Sarah said. “This morning when he woke up he asked me if I cared if he listened to music while he showered.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Emma told her. Sarah gave her a look and Emma chuckled. “He kinda wears his feelings on his sleeve doesn’t he?”

“These are the lyrics,” Sarah said handing Emma the phone. Emma took it and read them.

In my depression I will lie

So I can pretend I'm fine

And in my obsession, I will die

Although I've committed no crime

And in my heart I've been betrayed

My body is all that I'm worth

And in my mind, I've been enslaved

And God, I'm giving it all that I got

So why doesn't anyone

Love me

Love me?

I just need someone to

Want me

Why doesn't anyone care?

Why won't you answer my prayer?

A constant situation I will hide

And bury my head in the dirt

Methods of persuasion I will try

To cover up all of this

Hurt my heart

I've been betrayed

My body is all that I'm worth

And in my mind, I've been enslaved

And God, I'm giving it

All that I got

So why doesn't anyone

Love me

Love me

I just need someone to

Want me

Why doesn't anyone care?

Why won't you answer my prayer?

You took it all away

You took it all away

You took it all away

Leave me here to pray

And God, I'm giving you

All that I got

Love me

Love me

I just need someone to

Want me

Why isn't anyone there?

Why won't you answer my prayers?

Why won't you answer my prayers?

God, are you even there?

Emma handed the phone back to Sarah and patted Sarah’s forearm with her left hand, her right still looped through Sarah’s left.

“Well?” Sarah asked.

“You already know,” Emma said, looking at her. “He’s scared.”

“Okay, but what do I do?” Sarah said.

“You really want the answer?” Emma asked.

“Yes,” Sarah told her.“Listen to your heart,” Emma said. “And you know what it’s saying.”

“I do?” Sarah asked.Emma stopped walking and turned to face her daughter. “You do,” Emma said softly. Sarah looked down at the ground. “Love him.” Sarah looked up at her mom. “I mean, you already do.”

“No,” Sarah said. “You don’t love anyone that quick.”

“You don’t?” Emma asked. Sarah didn’t say anything. “You love who you love when you love them. There is no set answer, there is no right answer. Some people believe you need to be with someone for four seasons to see how they are during that time. Others…others have been alone for so long when they finally find that persons….”

“Isn’t that lust…chemical?” Sarah asked.

“CIA teach you that?” Emma asked. “Bryce? Your father? And I don’t ask any of that to be mean, but to ask you who are you listening to? Who’s the ‘expert’ you’re taking this information from?”

“So I should listen to you, because you’re trained,” Sarah said, smiling as she kidded her mother.

“Oh, no,” Emma said. She gently laid her hand on the middle of Sarah’s chest. “You listen to what’s in here. And before you say it’s guided you wrong in the past, it wasn’t wrong about love. Maybe the person you loved didn’t deserve your love. Maybe they took advantage of that love. Maybe they didn’t appreciate that love. But it was love.”

Sarah looked back at Chuck and then back to her mom. “And he wouldn’t do any of that, would he?” Sarah asked softly.

“I don’t know him well enough to answer that,” Emma replied, a smile playing on her lips.

“Yeah you do,” Sarah said softly.

Emma pulled her hand away and pulled Sarah into a hug. “And so do you,” Emma said just as softly.

}o{

“You should know Emma and Molly are probably coming to dinner tomorrow,” Jack told Chuck.

“Okay, I should probably go see my sister and her boyfriend,” Chuck replied. He turned to help a customer and when that was done he turned back to Jack and Molly. “Something wrong?”

“I didn’t tell you that to run you off,” Jack told him. “You’re invited.”

“It’s a family thing, Jack, I don’t want to intrude,” Chuck said simply. “Hey, ladies,” Chuck said, waving at the two women walking towards them. Sarah and Emma smiled at him. “Excuse me,” he said, and turned to help the customer that had walked up.

“What’s wrong?” Sarah asked as she saw the look on Jack’s face.

“He’s going to see his sister tomorrow,” Jack told them.

“Well, he should see his family,” Sarah told Jack. “I’m going to go help him.”

Jack watched Sarah go work with Chuck. “I know that look,” Emma said softly.

“He thinks he’s intruding on our family,” Jack told her. Emma nodded. “He thinks he’s not family.”

“You know I could say something about the guy that once thought family was a liability is now being…” she trailed off, grinning.

“He thinks he’s our employee,” Jack said, almost annoyed.

“The old Jack would have taken advantage of that,” Emma teased.

“This is all your fault,” he groused. Emma grinned and pulled him into a hug. “What is this for?”

“Because I love you, you idiot,” Emma told him. Jack looked surprised, but then smiled, and pulled her in tight. They both laughed as two tiny arms went around both of them. The three held each other. Jack looked over at Chuck and Sarah. He was determined they were going to have the same thing.

A/N: Sorry for the slowness of updates. Life lifeing. Also, we (Yes me and another writer) have started ChuckFanfiction . Org . It is a fanfic website to protect authors. Myself, Steampunk . Chuckster (yes, SC) and watever63 are the mods there. Every review must be okayed by us before it reaches the author. We have the ability to ban people. We’ve lost too many authors to hate and vitriol by guests on this site. Also, I’m going to post the other completed chapters to Nerds Rewrite over there. There are at least 10, AND SC MIGHT come back. MIGHT. HEAVY ON THE MIGHT. Please don’t beg her. She’s thinking about it. Too many scumbag guests ran her off of here. Come join us if you’d like. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back as soon as I can.