Chapter 4
A/N1 – Song recommendation – "Computer Blue" by Prince
Disclaimer – I don't own Chuck.
CHAPTER 4 – Operation Making Friends
Burbank, CA
Castle
By the time Chuck perfected the voice interface, life in Castle had become… unusual.
What had started as a simple text terminal had evolved into something much more sophisticated.
The Intersect now had a name, at least according to Chuck.
Edgar.
Nobody was entirely sure why Chuck had chosen the name.
Casey suspected it was because Chuck liked to name everything.
Sarah suspected it was because Chuck was trying to make Edgar feel less like a machine.
Edgar had never objected. In fact, Edgar seemed to like having a name.
More importantly, Edgar had become a constant presence in Castle.
Listening, learning, asking questions, and learning at an alarming rate.
Edgar thought it was already friends with Chuck since Chuck had created the ability to make Edgar communicate with others, but in Edgar's analysis, it decided it needed to find something in common with Agent Walker and Major Casey, so it began to consider options to become their friends.
XXXX
One morning, Sarah entered Castle carrying a folder from General Beckman.
Chuck was already at his workstation.
Casey was cleaning a rifle.
Edgar's voice came from the speakers.
GOOD MORNING, AGENT WALKER.
Sarah replied, "Morning, Edgar."
GOOD MORNING, AGENT CASEY.
Casey grunted. Edgar paused.
GOOD MORNING, CASEY GRUNT
Casey frowned.
Chuck immediately burst out laughing, "Edgar, that's not his last name."
CORRECTION ACCEPTED.
Sarah shook her head. Some days, she genuinely forgot Edgar was one of the most advanced intelligence systems ever created.
Other days… it was impossible to forget.
XXXX
A few hours later, Sarah received a call. She glanced at the screen, and her expression immediately softened.
Chuck noticed, "Everything okay?"
Sarah nodded, "My grandmother."
Sarah walked toward a quieter corner of Castle and answered her phone.
Almost immediately, she switched languages. Polish.
A language Chuck nor Casey didn't understand, but Edgar noticed immediately.
Sarah smiled as she listened, and then replied: "Dzień dobry, Babcia." (Good morning, Grandma.)
A pause. Then "Tak, wszystko w porządku." (Yes, everything is fine.)
She laughed, "Nie, nie jestem zbyt chuda." (No, I'm not too thin.)
A pause, "Nie, nie pracuję za dużo." (No, I'm not working too much.)
Another laugh, "Tak, wiem." (Yes, I know.)
For several minutes, the conversation continued.
Warm, comfortable, and natural.
Eventually, Sarah ended the call. When she turned around, Chuck was smiling.
"You looked happy."
Sarah nodded, "I am."
The moment Sarah left the room, Edgar spoke.
QUESTION.
Chuck immediately recognized that tone, "Oh no."
WHAT LANGUAGE WAS AGENT WALKER SPEAKING?
"I don't know," Chuck replied.
Sarah walked back into the room, and Edgar immediately asked.
SARAH WALKER, WHAT LANGUAGE WERE YOU SPEAKING?
"Polish", Sarah replied.
A brief pause, then:
REQUEST.
Chuck sighed, "Edgar"
I WOULD LIKE TO LEARN POLISH.
Casey looked up, "Why?"
The answer came instantly.
AGENT WALKER'S VOICE STRESS INDICATORS DECREASED BY 37 PERCENT DURING THE CONVERSATION.
SHE APPEARED HAPPIER.
I WISH TO UNDERSTAND WHY.
Chuck smiled. Of course, Edgar wanted to know. Everything eventually became a learning opportunity.
Chuck told Edgar to study books on Polish, access language learning software such as Pimsleur, Babbel, Clozemaster, and anything else he could find to understand the language.
For the next several days, Edgar devoted significant processing resources to learning Polish.
Sarah found the entire thing amusing.
At first.
Then Edgar began asking questions. Many questions. Far too many questions.
SARAH, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DZIEŃ DOBRY AND DOBRY WIECZÓR? ("good morning" and "good evening")
SARAH, WHAT IS THE GRAMMATICAL PURPOSE OF SEVEN CASES?
SARAH, WHY DOES ONE WORD CHANGE FORMS SEVENTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS?
Sarah laughed, "Because Polish hates everyone."
Edgar processed for a moment.
ILLOGICAL, BUT UNDERSTOOD.
XXXX
Three weeks later, Sarah entered Castle.
Edgar immediately spoke.
Except this time…not in English.
DZIEŃ DOBRY, SARAH. (Good morning, Sarah.)
Sarah stopped walking, Chuck looked up from his workstation, and Casey lowered his newspaper.
Sarah blinked, "What?"
Edgar repeated,
DZIEŃ DOBRY, SARAH.
Sarah stared at the speakers, then slowly smiled, "Dzień dobry, Edgar." (Good morning, Edgar.)
Chuck nearly fell out of his chair, "Oh my God."
Edgar seemed pleased. At least as pleased as a supercomputer could sound.
The speakers activated again, and a conversation began.
Edgar asked Sarah,
JAK SIĘ DZISIAJ CZUJESZ? (How are you feeling today?)
Sarah answered, "Dobrze. Jestem trochę zmęczona, ale dobrze." (Good. I'm a little tired, but good.)
DLACZEGO JESTEŚ ZMĘCZONA? (Why are you tired?)
"Ponieważ Chuck pracował do drugiej rano." (Because Chuck was working until two in the morning.)
TO WYDAJE SIĘ NIEROZSĄDNE. (That seems unreasonable.)
"Powiedz mu to." (Tell him that.)
Edgar then turned his attention to Chuck.
CHUCK BARTOWSKI, AGENT WALKER HAS IDENTIFIED YOU AS A PROBLEM.
Sarah laughed.
XXXX
A week later, Edgar surprised everyone. Its voice softened slightly. A habit it had unconsciously developed while speaking with Sarah.
Edgar asked Sarah,
CZY LUBISZ MÓWIĆ PO POLSKU? (Do you like speaking Polish?)
Sarah looked genuinely surprised. "Tak." (Yes.)
DLACZEGO? (Why?)
Sarah thought for a moment and then answered honestly. "Bo przypomina mi dom." (Because it reminds me of home.)
The room became quiet. Edgar processed the statement longer than normal.
ROZUMIEM. (I understand.)
XXXX
Later that evening, Sarah remained in Castle after everyone else had gone. Chuck was upstairs, and Casey had left.
The room was quiet. Edgar suddenly spoke this time in Polish.
SARAH?
"Tak?" (Yes?)
A pause, and then,
DZIĘKUJĘ ZA POMOC. (Thank you for helping.)
Sarah smiled, "You're welcome, Edgar."
Another pause,
LUBIĘ JĘZYK POLSKI. (I like the Polish language.)
Sarah laughed softly, "Why?"
Edgar's answer came immediately:
PONIEWAŻ SPRAWIA, ŻE SIĘ UŚMIECHASZ. (Because it makes you smile.)
Sarah froze. For a moment, she didn't know what to say. The answer was so simple, so innocent, so completely Edgar.
Finally, she smiled. A genuine smile. "To bardzo miłe." (That's very kind.)
Several weeks later, Polish had become Edgar's favorite secondary language.
Nobody knew exactly why. Well, nobody except Chuck.
One evening, Chuck reviewed Edgar's language-learning logs. Buried among thousands of entries was a simple notation:
POLISH LANGUAGE STUDY: CONTINUING
REASON: AGENT WALKER APPEARS HAPPIER WHEN SPEAKING POLISH.
Then Chuck found the final note. A note Edgar had apparently added for itself.
SUPPORTING HUMAN HAPPINESS APPEARS TO BE IMPORTANT.
Chuck sat back in his chair. For a machine that once understood only data, probabilities, and intelligence reports Edgar was learning remarkably human lessons, and somehow, Sarah had taught him one more.
Sometimes language wasn't just communication. Sometimes, language was home.
XXXX
Edgar's study of Polish had not stopped. If anything, it had accelerated. Edgar had mastered Polish grammar. Its vocabulary now exceeded that of many native speakers. It could distinguish between formal and informal speech, regional expressions, historical dialects, and even the subtle differences in pronunciation between Warsaw and Krakow.
Chuck found this slightly terrifying. Sarah found it strangely endearing.
That afternoon, Castle was unusually quiet. Chuck was in another room reviewing Orion's Intersect schematics, Casey was in the firing range, and only Sarah remained downstairs in the main room organizing mission reports.
The speakers softly activated.
SARAH?
Sarah smiled without looking up, "Tak, Edgar?" (Yes, Edgar?)
Edgar had learned something else over the past few weeks. Humans appreciated conversation that wasn't always about work.
CZY MOGĘ ZADAĆ CI OSOBISTE PYTANIE? (May I ask you a personal question?)
Sarah smiled, "Oczywiście." (Of course.)
JAKIE JEST TWOJE ULUBIONE TRADYCYJNE POLSKIE DANIE? (What is your favorite traditional Polish dish?)
Sarah blinked. She had expected another question about emotions, or love, or family. Instead, food.
She couldn't help laughing, "To naprawdę ciekawe pytanie." (That's a really interesting question.)
DZIĘKUJĘ. (Thank you.)
Sarah leaned back in her chair. For a moment, she wasn't a CIA agent. She was simply remembering childhood. "Moim ulubionym tradycyjnym polskim daniem są pierogi z kapustą i grzybami." (My favorite traditional Polish dish is sauerkraut and mushroom pierogi.)
Edgar immediately replied
PIEROGI Z KAPUSTĄ I GRZYBAMI. (Sauerkraut and mushroom pierogi.)
DLACZEGO WŁAŚNIE ONE? (Why those?)
Sarah smiled warmly, "Bo przypominają mi dzieciństwo." (Because they remind me of my childhood.)
"Moja babcia robiła je w każdą Wigilię Bożego Narodzenia." (My grandmother made them every Christmas Eve.)
"Cała rodzina pomagała lepić pierogi." (The whole family helped make the pierogi.)
"To była tradycja." (It was a tradition.)
Edgar became unusually quiet. Several seconds passed. Chuck often joked that those pauses meant Edgar was "thinking."
CZY JEDZENIE MOŻE PRZECHOWYWAĆ WSPOMNIENIA? (Can food preserve memories?)
"Nie dosłownie." (Not literally.)
"Ale kiedy próbujesz czegoś, co jadłeś jako dziecko…" (But when you taste something you ate as a child…)
"…czasami przypominasz sobie ludzi, miejsca i chwile, których dawno nie pamiętałeś." (…sometimes you remember people, places, and moments you hadn't thought about in years.)
INTERESUJĄCE. (Interesting.)
SMAK JEST POWIĄZANY Z PAMIĘCIĄ EMOCJONALNĄ. (Taste is connected to emotional memory.)
Sarah smiled, "Dokładnie." (Exactly.)
XXXX
At that exact moment, Chuck walked into Castle carrying a laptop. He caught only the end of the conversation, and he said, "What are you two talking about?"
Sarah smiled, "Pierogi."
Chuck nodded, "That tracks."
Edgar immediately addressed Chuck.
CHUCK BARTOWSKI. I HAVE LEARNED THAT PIEROGI WITH SAUERKRAUT AND MUSHROOMS POSSESS SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONAL VALUE.
Chuck laughed, "They're also delicious."
NOTED.
A pause and then
ARE THEY BETTER THAN PIZZA?
Chuck looked horrified, "Oh, Edgar."
Sarah burst into laughter.
Chuck placed a hand dramatically over his heart, "You can't compare pierogi or anything in the world to pizza. Nothing is better than pizza."
WHY NOT?
Chuck looked toward Sarah grinning, "See? This is your fault."
XXXX
Later that evening. Chuck had gone home. Casey had finished his report. Castle was quiet once again. Sarah gathered her things. Just before she reached the elevator, Edgar spoke one last time.
SARAH?
"Tak?" (Yes?)
DZIĘKUJĘ ZA OPOWIEDZENIE MI O SWOIM DZIECIŃSTWIE (Thank you for telling me about your childhood.)
Sarah smiled, "Nie ma za co." (You're welcome.)
JEŚLI WSPOMNIENIA CZYNIĄ LUDZI SZCZĘŚLIWSZYMI… (If memories make people happier…)
…TO CHCĘ DOWIEDZIEĆ SIĘ ICH WIĘCEJ. (…then I want to learn more of them.)
Sarah stood silently for a moment. When Edgar had first spoken to her, it had asked about mission effectiveness, then about love, then about language. Now, it wanted to understand memories.
She smiled toward the speaker, "Goodnight, Edgar."
DOBRANOC, SARAH. (Goodnight, Sarah.)
As the lights dimmed in Castle, Edgar quietly added another note to its ever-growing understanding of humanity: Memory is not only stored in the mind. Sometimes, it is carried in the traditions we share, the meals we prepare, and the people with whom we gather around a table. For a machine built to process intelligence, it was a lesson no database could have taught. Only Sarah could.
XXXX
Once Edgar determined that it had made friends with Sarah Walker, it turned its attention to John Casey.
The Castle briefing room was unusually quiet.
Chuck sat alone at the central workstation.
Edgar had been behaving strangely for weeks.
Not dangerous, not hostile. Just curious.
The screen suddenly flickered. A text window appeared.
MAJOR CASEY ENTERING FACILITY IN 17 SECONDS.
Chuck sighed, "Please don't do whatever you're planning."
I AM ATTEMPTING IMPROVED HUMAN RELATIONS.
Chuck replied, "That's exactly what I'm afraid of."
The elevator opened. Casey stepped into Castle carrying a duffel bag. Immediately, the monitor came alive.
HELLO, MAJOR CASEY.
Casey stopped, "What?"
I AM ATTEMPTING TO ESTABLISH RAPPORT.
Casey grunted and then replied, "No."
YOUR RESPONSE HAS BEEN RECORDED.
Casey stared at the monitor. The monitor stared back, and an awkward silence followed.
XXXX
Edgar's first attempt at trying to become Casey's friend was to discuss guns.
I HAVE ANALYZED YOUR OPERATIONAL HISTORY.
Casey narrowed his eyes, "That's classified."
SO AM I.
Chuck buried his face in his hands.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUN?
Casey blinked.
The question had genuinely surprised him, "Why?"
I AM SEEKING COMMON INTERESTS.
"You don't shoot."
CORRECT.
Casey asked, "Then why do you care?"
BECAUSE YOU CARE. JUST LIKE SARAH LIKES TO SPEAK POLISH.
Casey hated that answer. Mostly because it made sense.
After a moment, he shrugged, "The Colt M1911."
Edgar immediately displayed images and specifications.
EXCELLENT CHOICE.
Casey's eyebrow rose slightly.
SERVICE RECORD EXCEEDS ONE CENTURY.
POWERFUL .45 ACP CARTRIDGE.
MECHANICALLY ELEGANT.
YOU APPRECIATE RELIABILITY OVER NOVELTY.
Casey glanced at Chuck, "Did you tell it that?"
Chuck shook his head, "Nope. You know I don't know much about guns unless it has something to do with Call of Duty."
AGREED. I OBSERVED IT.
Casey reluctantly nodded, "Not bad."
Edgar highlighted the words:
CASEY APPROVAL DETECTED.
Casey grunted and replied, "Don't push it."
XXXX
Edgar's second attempt at trying to become Casey's friend was to discuss rifles.
A few days later, it asked Casey.
MAJOR CASEY, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RIFLE?
Casey sat down. "M4 Carbine."
REASON?
Casey smirked, "It works."
ADDITIONAL DETAILS REQUESTED.
Casey sighed, "Maneuverable. Accurate. Easy to maintain. Adaptable."
AGREED.
A large green checkmark appeared on the screen.
Casey grunted.
Chuck asked, "Did you just make Casey grunt?"
PROGRESS.
XXXX
Edgar's third attempt was to discuss military history.
MAJOR CASEY. WHAT IS THE GREATEST UPSET VICTORY IN MILITARY HISTORY?
Casey's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. For once, he answered immediately, "Depends."
ELABORATE.
Casey replied, "The Battle of Agincourt."
REASONING?
"The English were exhausted. Outnumbered. Terrain favored them. Leadership mattered, and King Charles VI of France did not command the French army as he suffered from psychotic illnesses."
Edgar processed for a moment.
ACCEPTABLE ANSWER.
Casey grunted and frowned, "Acceptable?"
VERY GOOD ANSWER.
Casey nodded, "Better."
XXXX
Edgar's fourth attempt was to discuss General Patton.
Edgar displayed a photograph of General Patton.
MAJOR CASEY, WHY WAS GENERAL PATTON SUCCESSFUL DURING WORLD WAR II?
Casey's expression changed because military history was serious business to him.
"Speed," he replied.
Edgar remained silent.
Casey continued, "He moved faster than opponents could react."
CONTINUE.
"He understood armored warfare."
CONTINUE.
"He kept pressure on the enemy."
CONTINUE.
Casey looked annoyed, "Are you grading me?"
YES.
Chuck and Sarah laughed.
Casey ignored them, "Patton trained hard. Planned aggressively. Trusted initiative."
CORRECT.
Five gold stars appeared on the monitor.
Casey stared at it, "Did you just give me five gold stars?"
YOU EARNED IT. JUST LIKE GENERAL PATTON EARNED FIVE STARS.
XXXX
Later, when the room was quiet. Edgar seemed to hesitate.
MAJOR CASEY.
"What?"
DO YOU DISLIKE ME?
Chuck looked up, and Sarah paused what she was working on. Even Casey seemed surprised by the question.
The answer took longer than expected.
Finally, Casey folded his arms, "No."
Edgar remained silent.
Casey continued, "I don't trust computers."
UNDERSTANDABLE.
"I don't trust intelligence agencies."
ALSO UNDERSTANDABLE.
Casey finally said, "Most of all, I don't trust most people."
STATISTICALLY VERIFIED.
Chuck grinned, and Sarah quietly chuckled to herself.
Casey ignored them, "But you've saved many lives."
The room became still.
"Edgar … You've helped us complete every mission we've been assigned. You've helped protect Chuck, you've helped protect Sarah, and you've helped protect me."
The room remained silent.
Casey nodded once, "So no. I don't dislike you."
Edgar processed that statement for nearly three full seconds.
An eternity by computer standards. Then a final message appeared.
FRIENDSHIP STATUS UPDATED.
JOHN CASEY: PROVISIONAL FRIEND.
Casey immediately stood, "Don't make this weird."
For the first time in Castle's history, Casey smiled at a computer.
Edgar recorded the moment permanently.
XXXX
Later that week, Castle was unusually peaceful.
Chuck was upstairs at the Buy More, and Sarah wasn't in the office yet.
Only one person occupied Castle, Casey.
He methodically disassembled his M1911 on the workbench, cleaning every component with practiced precision.
Edgar had been quiet all morning, and Casey appreciated that.
The silence lasted exactly six minutes when Edgar spoke.
GOOD MORNING, CASEY.
Casey didn't look up. "What do you want?"
I HAVE A QUESTION REGARDING PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN.
Casey stopped. Now that had his undivided attention, "What about him?"
YOUR PERSONNEL FILE CONTAINS SEVENTEEN FAVORABLE REFERENCES TO RONALD REAGAN.
Casey frowned, "You've been reading my file again?"
EVERYONE'S PERSONAL FILES.
"I should've known."
Edgar displayed a photograph of President Ronald Reagan speaking at a podium.
WHY DO YOU RESPECT HIM?
Casey considered the question.
Finally, he answered, "Leadership. He projected confidence. He believed the United States should negotiate from strength."
DEFINE STRENGTH.
"Military readiness."
NOT WAR?
Casey shook his head, "No."
PLEASE EXPLAIN.
Casey leaned back in his chair deep in thought, "The strongest military isn't there because you want to fight. It's there so nobody wants to fight you."
DETERRENCE.
Casey nodded once, "Exactly."
WHAT MAKES AN EFFECTIVE LEADER?
Casey answered almost immediately, "They make decisions, they accept responsibility, and they don't panic."
IS CHARISMA REQUIRED?
Casey laughed quietly, "No."
REAGAN POSSESSED CHARISMA.
"He did."
YOU DO NOT.
Casey looked up, "I know."
DOES THIS DISTURB YOU?
"Not even a little."
Edgar surprised him with his next question.
WHEN DID YOU FIRST NOTICE PRESIDENT REAGAN?
Casey became unusually quiet, "I was a young Marine. I remember watching one of his speeches. He sounded like someone who believed America could solve problems."
Edgar remained silent.
"He wasn't perfect, no president is, but confidence matters, especially when the world is watching."
Edgar processed his words, and several seconds passed. Then Edgar asked another question.
MAJOR CASEY
"What?"
YOU HAVE PARTICIPATED IN COMBAT.
"Yes."
YOU STUDY HISTORY.
"Yes."
YOU RESPECT LEADERS WHO PREVENT WAR RATHER THAN SEEK IT.
Casey looked thoughtful, "I do."
THAT APPEARS LOGICAL.
Casey grunted and replied, "Yes, it is."
XXXX
Near the end of Casey and Edgar's discussion, Chuck and Sarah arrived.
They immediately sensed they'd interrupted something.
"What are you guys doing?" Sarah asked.
Casey answered matter-of-factly, "Talking about military history."
Chuck blinked, "You?"
Casey nodded, "Edgar had questions."
"Edgar, you've been talking to Casey for how long?"
FORTY-THREE MINUTES.
Sarah stopped what she was doing and asked, "Forty-three minutes?"
Casey shrugged, "It asked very good questions."
Chuck stared in disbelief, "So, you two are just hanging out now?"
Casey looked at him, "Don't ruin it."
JOHN CASEY ENJOYS DISCUSSING HISTORY MORE THAN DISCUSSING FEELINGS.
Casey immediately stood, "I knew this was going somewhere stupid."
He picked up his pistol, slipped it into its case, and headed for the elevator. As the doors closed, he glanced back, "Edgar, tomorrow we'll talk about President and General Eisenhower. After that, if we have time, we can discuss Alexander the Great."
YES, SIR!
The elevator doors shut.
XXXX
End Chapter 4
E/N1 – I used ChatGPT to convert from US English to Polish in Edgar's conversations with Sarah, so if anything is lost in the translation you can blame me. I can only speak English (American not Queen's) and some Irish Gaelic.
E/N2 – One of my favorite childhood memories is playing old Avalon Hill role-playing board games with my father. Based on wars and battles. My father was almost always busy, but when we started playing a game, he would tell me he had an hour free to play, and 3 hours later, we'd still be playing. He is a big fan of WWII and the Civil War. My mom would always get mad because the game would be spread out on the living room table for months while we played.