Forever and Ever

I don’t own Chuck

He had kissed her, and it had worked…and it hadn’t. Her heart…her heart believed everything. Believed she loved him, he loved her, but her head…her head refused. Sarah’s entire life had been about one thing, doing the smart thing, the things she could control. That had been reinforced in her personal and professional life for her entire life.

Love…love was not control. Love was the furtherest thing from control. Her head and heart were wrestling, and there sat Chuck, knowing it hadn’t worked, but he was wrong, it had…but it hadn’t.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

“Listen, it was a Morgan idea-” he began.

“No, Chuck, it worked…and it didn’t,” she cut in. He watched her, quiet, giving her space to work out what to say and how to say it. “My heart…it knows, but my head…” she trailed off and looked over at him, wondering why he was chuckling.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head and looking out at the water. “Kinda been our thing our entire relationship.” She couldn’t help but smile, especially after him telling her about their past. “Anything I can do to help?” He paused for a moment. “And-and, I’m not doing it to try and get you-” He quit talking when she laid her hand on his leg.

“Chuck, I believe you when you tell me you’re here for me and you’re just trying to help,” she assured him. “And, I wouldn’t be upset if you were trying for something more.” A slow grin covered his face and she couldn’t help but grin and chuckle herself.

“You tell me what to do, and I’ll do it,” he told her, lying his hand over hers and squeezing it reassuringly.

She nodded and for a moment, a thought crossed her mind. She started to dismiss it, but…. “I need to ask you something a little weird.”

“Hello, Intersect,” he said, pointing at his head. “Weird is kinda my thing.”

She snorted. “You were telling me about our practice run for our wedding.” Chuck nodded, encouraging her to continue. “Did I….did I say anything weird? Like maybe to myself, or even whispered something?” She winced. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“You did,” Chuck said quickly. Her eyes went wide. “At least…I thought you did, but you have to understand, you had this doily on your head and looked all super adorable and…..” He trailed off and cleared his throat. “What can I say, you have been known to distract me.”

Sarah was trying not to laugh at the red creeping into his cheeks and the embarrassment on his face. She could so see herself spending the rest of her life with this man, if only her head would listen…. “Do I dare ask what happens if I wear something sexy?”“Whatever the hell you want,” Chuck blurted out. Sarah’s laughter intensified. “But,” he continued, once she had sobered up. “I swore you whispered to yourself, ‘Forever and ever.’”

“What?” Sarah said, the laughter gone, the humor having left. Chuck leaned back from the intensity. “Sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong, I just wanted to make sure I heard you right.”

“I thought you said, ‘Forever and ever.’” Sarah pressed her fingertips to her lips and thought back.

}o{

Many years ago

She opened the hotel room door and found him exactly how she thought, drunk. As she had gotten older, she began to learn on this day, her mother was sad, and her dad…he drank…a lot.

“Dad,” the young blond said, shaking him. He reeked of alcohol.

“Angel,” he slurred. “I’m so glad you’re here, someone has stole all my liquor.”

“You drank it all, Dad,” she told him. “Dad, you’ve got to quit this.”

“It’s my fault you know,” he rattled on, ignoring his daughter. “I messed it up with Em. I did, me. You know why?”

“Because love is for suckers,” she answered. The line had been drilled in her head for years.

“Yeah, it’s the biggest con, but have I ever told you why?” She realized he had not told her why. Before she could answer him, he continued on. “Love…it’s forever, but that’s not what gets you. That’s not what screws you up, it’s the forever and ever.”

“I don’t understand,” she said, thinking he was really drunk.

He sat up, swaying slightly, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Love, it stays forever, here,” he told her, pointing to his chest. “But that’s not enough, forever isn’t enough. It’s the ever, that’s the key. The ever is you putting in the work to keep the one you fall in love with.”

She couldn’t say anything. She loved her father, but he wasn’t the best father, and she knew he was no good for her mom.

“Promise me Angel, promise me if you ever find forever, for your sake…for your sake, Angel…promise your forever, forever and ever.”

“I will, Dad,” she told him. “I will.”

}o{

Now

“Forever and ever,” she said softly. She winced, her head hurting as she tried to remember the moment Chuck told her. She remember a helicopter, trying to take him away from her. The pain intensified. She remembered a test she “failed” and they had tried to separate her from Chuck. The pain grew even greater.

There was a train station…Prague. Were these her memories or what she was imagining based on what he had told her? She winced, tears coming from her eyes. And then…

She was looking down at the twist tie on her finger, love in her heart. She thought it might burst she felt so full. It was there she remembered her father’s words, “Angel…promise your forever, forever and ever.”

“Forever and ever,” she said softly as she looked up through her lashes as Chuck…her Chuck. Her forever, and she was his ever.

A thousands of images burst through her memory at once and she screamed. But this time, it wasn’t anguish. No, she was letting go of the pain. Of all the times she couldn’t say she found forever. Of the time she had found forever and Quinn had tried so hard to take it away from her. But he failed.

“You saved me,” she told him, tears in her eyes, seeing the worry on his face. “God, Chuck…you saved me.”

“Sarah, are you okay?”She shook her head, smiling. Her nerd, always worried about her. She put her hand around his neck. “Chuck…shut up and kiss me.” He smiled at her.

“You-”

“Damn it, Chuck! Shut up and kiss me.” He laughed as he moved in to kiss her, and was met halfway. When she pulled away, she leaned her forehead against his. “You’re my forever and ever, and no one is going to make me permanently forget you.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Chuck admitted.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to spend the rest of our lives showing you,” she promised him. She leaned in to kiss him, but paused. “You still have that picture you drew?” Chuck nodded. “Good, you’re going to need to add some more to it.” Chuck started to ask what she meant, but it dawned on him, just as she kissed him, and then he found, he really didn’t care. Sarah was back.