Chuck vs the Adventures in Buymoria

Chapter 4 — The Buymorons

The party continued through Jill County, following a narrow trail between the trees. They had been walking for almost an hour when Chuckles suddenly noticed two figures sitting beside the road. One was a long-haired blond man wearing a yellow jacket. Beside him stood a fat, bearded man in a long, dark coat.

Casey stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing into slits.

"Oh, no."

Sarah looked at him curiously. "You know them?"

"Yeah." Casey sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. "Those two Buymorons again."

Morgan looked between them. "What did they do?"

"They've been parking their behinds near the south gate, selling pipeweed to passing hobbits and anyone else stupid enough to buy it."

The two men noticed the approaching party. Jayson immediately grinned.

"Yo, yo, yo! What has the cursed forest spit out?" He sprang to his feet and began dancing around Sarah and Alexis in an absurd, theatrical jig. "Lovely ladies…"

Sarah's expression became increasingly murderous. Alexis stepped away from him with clear revulsion.

"…And some dudes." Jayson pointed a finger at Chuckles. "You look lost, my magical friend."

"We are lost," Chuckles admitted wryly.

Casey closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course we are."

Chuckles ignored him. "Could you tell us which way Toshy Station is?"

Jayson slapped both hands on his thighs. "We got maps."

Silent Hob nodded solemnly. "But not for free."

Jayson smiled mischievously. "A kiss from the ladies oughta do."

Sarah and Alexis stared at him in disgust.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Back in the cozy, dimly lit bedroom, Leila sat up in bed. "But Mom didn't kiss him, right, Dad?"

Morgan shook his head. "Nope." He paused dramatically. "I had my travel money in my hidden sack."

Luke blinked. "Where?"

"Hidden."

"Where hidden?"

Morgan smiled secretively. "That's the important part."

XXXXXXXXXXX

He returned to the story. "Fortunately, I had brought a map."

Young Morgan stepped forward. "How about not?" He dug deep into his pants. The others stared at him with growing concern. Chuckles' face turned red. Sarah looked away, groaning under her breath. Alexis raised an eyebrow. Bryce sighed.

"I already regret asking."

Morgan finally pulled out a small coin sack. "Hidden stash," he explained proudly. "Usually there are thieves everywhere, and you can't get robbed this way."

Bryce stared at him with utter disdain. "It robs only your dignity."

Morgan ignored him. "So, how much for the map?"

Jayson rubbed his hands together. "Fifteen coins, little man. Put that stuff in my hand." He held out his palm. "And if the gold doesn't show, you owe me, owe me, oh—"

Sarah stepped forward, her fist clenching. "How about me hitting you?"

Jayson's grin widened. "Whoa there, Smoke Show. I'm game." He pointed at Silent Hob. "But I don't know if Lunchbox here is into that kind of stuff."

Silent Hob slowly shook his head.

Sarah stared at both of them. "Idiots."

Chuckles quickly stepped between them to keep the peace. "Okay. Map. Give us a map and be on your way."

Jayson looked disappointed. "Fifteen coins."

Morgan tossed him the sack. Jayson caught it nimbly.

"Pleasure doing business."

Silent Hob silently handed over the map. Casey snatched it from him harshly.

"If I see you two anywhere near the south gate again, I'll throw you both in the moat."

Jayson waved cheerfully. "Love you too, Sir Grumpy."

Casey stared at him. "Run."

Jayson and Silent Hob immediately disappeared down the road.

Sarah watched them go. "How did you know them?"

Casey grunted. "Unfortunately, they know everybody."

Chuckles unfolded the map. "So… Toshy Station is…" He rotated it. "…this way." He rotated it again.

Sarah sighed. "Chuckles."

"Yes?"

"You're holding it upside down." and she rotated the map in his hands. The touch of skin felt magical.

He looked at the map. "Right." A beat. "That explains the mountains."

Sarah's mouth twitched. Just barely. Chuckles noticed that she tried to hide it. And smiled.