Chapter 3
Sarah looked up to find Ellie and Devon standing in the doorway.
Devon trailed behind his fiancée, and they sat on the floor at the foot of Chuck’s bed. Ellie wiped her eyes and took a calming breath. “John said he had to go check messages.”
Sarah looked out across the courtyard. “Our bosses are overdue for an update.”
“Should you go call?”
Sarah clenched her teeth and nodded. “Yes…but if I have to talk to them right now, I will burn a bridge. I can’t afford that. We can’t afford that.”
Graham was going to be angry, and he would say no to anything Sarah requested if she ran right at him. Her only chance was to sound reasonable enough to get him to table the discussion, rather than shutting her down entirely, and she wasn’t calm enough for that yet. “Emotions are liabilities in my job. I have to be calm and rational, or my boss won’t hear me…even though I want to set fire to all of it right now.”
What Ellie believed she knew about Sarah was in tatters, and she needed information, some way to gauge what they were up against. “Is it…always like this? Your whole life, the secrets…and the lying? Is Sarah even your real name?”
Sarah closed her eyes and her countenance twisted into something raw and aching. She started to speak, and hesitated.
Sometimes as an agent, Sarah gave up a bit of personal information, which was never, ever true, to gain the trust of an asset or a mark. She was good at it, the appearance of vulnerability, in the short term, at least. But real trust, the kind Ellie needed to believe Sarah and John and act according to their guidance, was reciprocal. Sarah needed Ellie’s trust, and she had something to give, something real. Painfully, awfully real.
“In this line of work, whatever you tell someone to establish intimacy, to get them to give you what you want, to make them trust you, it’s never the truth. It’s never you,” Sarah began. She looked at the ceiling and wiped her eyes. “Chuck hates that. I gave him so little, and I regret that now.” Sarah looked at the mascara on her fingers and shook her head. She might need to lay off the eye make-up. “My name is Sarah, now. But the truth is…I haven’t been me since I was eight years old.”
Sarah told them her mother was gone, and her father a career criminal. In elementary school, Sarah was already her father’s partner, a professional con artist, a nameless, rootless, remorseless thief. She told them she was in high school before she truly felt the weight of their wrongdoing. With high school graduation in sight, by the time she might be able to get a real job and take care of herself and be free of her father’s schemes, it was too late, because he was arrested as part of a sweeping federal investigation that landed him behind bars. The man who had been Sarah’s boss for ten years, since she was scarcely seventeen, who claimed to have arrested her father to protect him from people who wished him harm, found her that day, too. That man offered her a career instead of prison, and Sarah took it. That man worked for the CIA, and now, a decade later, he was in charge.
“I changed my name so many times since I was a kid, my real identity, a name that’s on a birth certificate I don’t even have…there isn’t anyone left in my life who knows me by that name. When I was recruited, my boss created an identity for me. Legally, I’m Sarah Walker. If I had any idea when I came to Los Angeles that I would stay this long, I would have used an alias…but…things happened, and I stayed, and…that’s me.”
Ellie turned her face into Devon’s shoulder, and he pulled her into his arms. Sarah doubted Ellie’s tears were for anything other than Chuck. It couldn’t be for her, but maybe, at least, Ellie believed that Sarah understood what it meant to be drawn into a life of secrets like you, as a person, did not matter.
At length, Ellie sat up straight and looked at Sarah, and found Chuck’s handler just as emotional, if by experience, a little more resigned to the facts at hand.
“What do we do?” Ellie asked, with her voice hoarse from crying.
Good. Sarah nodded, wiping her face. It was time to get practical. “The best you can do is appear frustrated and distraught and defend Chuck to the utmost. Be the sister you already are. They won’t care how uncomfortable you make the LAPD but stop short of any hint of a witch hunt on the federal government. As far as you know, the feds have nothing to do with this. Do not google any of the agencies or the leadership. You’ve all been under mostly illegal surveillance for months and your digital footprints will be under scrutiny. These people are pragmatists. If you go after the federal agencies and make it uncomfortable for them to keep Chuck…”
Sarah’s voice vibrated with anger, but she kept talking because Ellie had to understand. “They could call your hand, and we’ll…find Chuck’s body by the side of the road somewhere. So, whatever you do, keep your complaints local. Compared to the legitimate national security risk, they have no regard for what happens to your family. Your misery is an unfortunate byproduct of the operation. I do not feel that way. Casey does not feel that way. But the people we answer to will destroy Chuck’s reputation or worse to manage this, and however much it hurts you is not a concern. Please, please don’t give them a reason.”
Sarah needed to leave Ellie with something to do. “It’s daylight now, and…it’s time to do what you would do if you didn’t know what’s going on. Text Chuck’s number, call him, leave messages. Call me and Morgan. Call Casey. Go to the store and ask Big Mike if he’s seen Chuck. Is he on a big install? Give it a few hours and call the police. File a police report. I’m going to have to tell the police something. I will say that I knew Chuck was going to drop off the ring. He told me he planned to clear out long enough to let you have dinner and propose, and he’d come home after to congratulate you both. So, I didn’t think much of it when I didn’t hear from him, because it was family time.”
Ellie shook her head resolutely. “Chuck wouldn’t do that.”
Sarah did a double take. “What? Why?”
“You were his girlfriend for four months.” Ellie’s voice cracked and she squeezed Devon’s hand. “He would bring you. Chuck would want you to share that with us.”
Chuck would. He’d taken every opportunity to draw Sarah into his family life, and Sarah came to genuinely care for Ellie and Devon. It made lying to them so much harder.
Sarah looked down at her lap and nodded. “That’s…probably true. But Devon and I need to tell the same story to avoid creating a problem with the LAPD. So…I kissed him goodbye after work and went home. I thought I might hear from him later, after your engagement, but he didn’t outright say so, and he didn’t call. But I didn’t worry because I knew he was with his family and I’d see him in the morning. So, Devon…what’s your story?”
Devon’s brow creased in concentration. “I-I gave Chuck the ring because Ellie is like a truffle hound with gifts. She found the cashmere sweater I got for her birthday last year, even though I hid it under Chuck’s bed. Chuck carried the ring around with him for a couple of days and—”
Sarah shook her head. “No, he stored the ring in his locker at work. And chances are over the last couple of days someone in the store heard him mention it, and we have to act accordingly. I know it’s your grandmother’s and you deserve to have it back, but we need to account for how you get the ring back, because it can’t come from me, here, this morning. I need to leave the ring under the seat in a Nerd Herder for the police to find. You might not get it back for a few days, but we’ll make sure they don’t keep it.”
“Like…Chuck realized something bad was happening and stashed it, so it didn’t get stolen?”
“Exactly. Now, keep going, what’s your story?”
Devon blinked. “Ooo-okay, he told me he’d keep it in his locker at work, and I asked him to bring it home last night before dinner, but he didn’t show up. And Ellie was tired and fell asleep after dinner, and the proposal…” Devon had to clear his throat. “It didn’t happen. I was bummed but I figured Chuck got caught up with something and if he didn’t show up, it would be for a really good reason. It was just dinner, not a big plan. I figured I’d see Chuck in the morning, and I was irritated, but I knew Chuck would explain. But then he didn’t come home. And I texted and called, that part’s true.”
“It’s all true, Devon. That’s the thing to remember, everything before now is true,” Sarah told him quietly. “Tell your story, the way you just told me. Answer the questions they ask. When you don’t know the answer, tell them you don’t know the answer. Don’t feel pressured to invent new details. They use silence in an interrogation, a quiet delay, to make you ramble. Human nature says silence is uncomfortable, and nervous people try to fill it. Don’t bite. Let the silence sit. Ellie, you and me, same thing goes for us. And don’t worry about being emotional. You can’t avoid it, and it’s honest. Let your emotions be honest.”
Sarah closed her eyes and sagged against the closet door while Ellie and Devon absorbed that. Barely a minute later, Casey tapped on the window. She scooted to her right so he could step through it for the second time that morning. He sat in the chair next to Sarah as the conversation continued.
“So now, this morning you start by texting me and Morgan and then you call both of us.” Sarah prompted.
“I have to call Morgan,” Devon said anxiously. “That’s gonna be awful.”
“I’ll…call Morgan,” Ellie said slowly.
“No, babe—”
“I know how to talk to him,” Ellie said with a sad shrug. “I’ll call Morgan and Sarah. You call John and go see Big Mike.”
“Divide and conquer,” Devon said to himself. “O-okay.”
“Just, have a plan before you start that conversation,” Sarah advised them. “Have you seen or heard from Chuck since he left work last night? He didn’t come home and he didn’t call. He won’t answer his phone. We don’t know where he is. Stuff like that,” Sarah said.
She blew out a careful breath and wiped her eyes. “John and I need to stay in town long enough, so it doesn’t look suspicious, but I won’t be in charge of how long that is. I’m sure we’ll see each other,” Sarah told them. “And at some point, I’ll come here to say goodbye. With the cameras, it’s very likely I’ll have to do that as Chuck’s girlfriend and not an agent. That’s going to be…difficult. It’ll be my last opportunity to sell the story that you believe I’m your brother’s girlfriend, and the audience will be the people watching in Washington. They’re going to be angry that we cut the surveillance, even though we’ll make the argument that the asset was gone and your privacy had been violated enough. But they’ll push back and make us turn the cameras back on, so when I come for the last time…or really, any time you see me from now on, just remember that I’m Sarah, not Agent Walker. John, too. It has to look like this conversation never happened, and you’re totally in the dark.”
“How do you do that?” Devon asked. “How can anyone ever know you, or believe you? How are you two different people?”
Sarah’s expression crumbled and she barely held on to her voice. “I don’t, Devon. I promise you, Agent Walker felt…feels…everything Sarah does. I’m not two people. I’m one woman who has lied to you for four months to keep everyone safe, and starting when I walk out of here, I’ll lie to them instead.”
Casey felt like he needed to reengage and give Sarah a break, “When we leave here, you will have a very narrow window of time to say what you need to each other, a couple of minutes max. My boss ordered me to reboot the server ten minutes ago. After the op is shut down, I’ll let you know when all the cameras and mics are gone for good. But please, be careful. What you say, and where you say it. Even after. It’s wildly unfair, but there’s no helping it now. If you need to talk, leave your phones at home and go for a walk in the park.”
Sarah nodded in agreement. “I may not always have this phone number. If I have to get ahold of you, it could help if we have established some passphrases, so you know it’s me. It’s low-tech tradecraft, but it might cut through some uncertainty of you are contacted by someone claiming to be me. I’ll remember whatever you tell me. Four words, that we’ll use in the order you give them to me and not reuse them in case you’re being monitored. Let’s make it easy – a rock, a shape, a place and a bird. You pick.”
Ellie looked skeptical but Sarah was entirely serious.
“You can’t imagine how often something this simple is the difference between succeeding and failing,” Casey offered. “Please humor her.”
“Okay…” Ellie looked at Devon, and he nodded. “Granite, crescent,” Ellie began.
“Pacoima,” Devon offered.
Sarah shot Ellie a perplexed look but didn’t ask.
“A swift,” Ellie finished. “Granite, crescent, Pacoima, swift,” she said softly. “Devon’s first Pop Warner football team was the Pacoima Pirates.”
Sarah looked at John as they both ran through their own processes to commit that to memory. “Granite, crescent, Pacoima, swift,” Sarah echoed and nodded. “Good. That’s good. I can’t be in regular contact. My boss is going to be very mad at me for several reasons, so it’s likely I’ll be monitored for a while. If I don’t have anything to share, I won’t risk it. But if you get a text from an unknown number beginning with one of those words, that’s us. So please trust it. For now, it’s all we can do.”
Sarah knew she had to go; she’d stayed too long already. She hesitated and finally reached for Ellie. The embrace began awkwardly, but Ellie couldn’t not be herself. She squeezed Sarah tightly.
“There has to be a way,” Ellie insisted. “I did not raise Chuck after our parents abandoned us, and he did not survive that loss and make it through Stanford and his best friend and girlfriend betraying him to end up like this. If there’s anything you can do, either of you, I’m begging you…please.”
“Whatever it takes, I won’t stop trying, Ellie.” Sarah pulled her even closer. “I’m so sorry you have to do this. I would rather die than have him taken from you like this. I know it can’t mean much, but I’m so, so sorry.”
Ellie sobbed against Sarah’s shoulder and Devon wrapped his arms around them both.
Casey sat close by, with his hand on Sarah’s back. He had shed tears over the years. Not often, but it had happened. A couple of losses in the corps were too awful for anyone to bear, and again after a fouled-up NSA op in Tangiers. Outcomes that Casey didn’t dwell on, because he couldn’t make them right, and it would be futile to try. The kinds of things you walled off and ignored for your own sanity. Casey found himself there again.
He squeezed Walker’s shoulder. Ellie was likely to hold on forever and they really needed to go, but Casey stopped short of bodily pulling Sarah away. He got up instead, and she reluctantly followed. Devon looked down at the ring in his hand one more time and reluctantly handed it to Sarah. She trailed her partner out the window, and across the courtyard.
Sarah noticed Casey’s phone on the kitchen table. She took hers from her pocket and gritted her teeth as she reinstalled the battery. Four text messages from Graham. Ellie called almost immediately and Sarah answered in character. Ellie played her part perfectly, although Sarah knew the quaver in her voice was entirely real.
The call to Graham was brief. He told Sarah in the tersest of terms to get back to Washington immediately. Sarah told Graham that three people disappearing in a matter of hours would create questions that the agency did not want. He swore and hung up.
Casey initialized most of the surveillance package. He made the round trip to the Buy More in record time and with the confidence that the security cameras remained offline behind the building, wiped Ellie’s ring for prints and carefully placed it under the driver’s seat of Chuck’s herder.
Over the next couple of hours, their phones would ring as Ellie and Devon called to ask after Chuck’s whereabouts again. Sarah would struggle to keep it together. Morgan would spiral. They would all falter together.
He looked down at his phone and grimaced as he dialed General Beckman.
The bottle of scotch in the kitchen cabinet would get a work out later, for good reason.
Casey was right. The sky was falling.