Chapter 5
A/N: I cannot thank you all enough for the support of this fic. I read every one of the reviews, and I know many of you have questions and theories. I’m gonna stay quiet on them for now, but I suspect by the end of this story, you’ll have your answers.
So the question is what are we listening to today, David? Well, it’s my favorite band, Shinedown. Pull out your CD, or mp3, or whatever you listen to, and let’s get this show on the road. Ch 5, If You Only Knew
Disclaimer: I don’t own Chuck, or Shinedown, but seeing them live is highly recommended…It’s 4:03 and I can’t sleep. Without you next to me I toss and turn like the sea…
Sarah woke up, and looked up at the warm body pillow she was sleeping on. How did she just spend one weekend with him (well, 4 days) and he had so affected her life? Sure, he was the father of her child, but there was something about Chuck Bartowski that wormed it’s way into her heart and soul. She loved him. She would marry him in a hot second, but just a few days ago she doubted that ever happened. Now…maybe there was a chance. Things were better, and she knew she had to give him time, but she had some hope. She got up and went into the kitchen.
She knew she had a silly smile on her face, but last night, it was more than she could hope for. He kept apologizing to her about his father. He cried, and she had held him. She told him she was there for him, and it seemed to comfort him.
“Good night?” she Emma asked, a smirk on her face. Sarah turned to her mother.
“Whatever do you mean?” she asked, returning the smirk.
“Chuck’s bed wasn’t slept in last night,” Emma retorted. Sarah moved to the fridge and got some eggs out.
“Oh?” she said.
“In fact, he hasn’t slept in it either night he has been here,” Emma said, studying her daughter. Sarah shrugged.
“He’s a grown man,” she answered. “He’s allowed to sleep wherever he wants.”
“Uh-huh,” Emma replied. “What if it was at another woman’s house?” Sarah turned to her mother with a glare.
“I was going to ask him to fix your email, but I think I’ve changed my mind,” Sarah retorted.
“Who’s going to fix whose email?” Chuck asked, walking into the kitchen.
“Hey,” Sarah said, giving him a smile, walking over, and hugging him. “Sleep okay?”
“Yeah, thanks to you,” he said softly, holding her. “You know I’ve yet to sleep in my bed since I’ve been here.” Sarah shrugged.
“It’s okay, you can sleep either place,” she said, keeping her face as expressionless as possible.
“Just like that?” he asked, grinning.
“Come on, Chuck. There’s only one night you and I have been together in the same building and we didn’t sleep with each other,” she said. Chuck saw the look on Emma’s face. Sarah saw Chuck’s face and turned to her mother. “We fell asleep watching the movie the first night we met, the second night I was drunk and he refused to ‘take advantage of me,’” she said using air quotes.
“To which I appreciate you returning the favor last night,” he said. She gave him a look.
“I wasn’t that drunk,” she said.
“I was that upset,” he replied. She gave him a tight smile. She turned back to Emma.
“And you can figure out the rest,” Sarah said. “I just sleep better with him near me.”
“You mean you use me for your personal snuggly pillow,” Chuck said.
“Tomato To mat toe,” she said, shrugging. “How do you want your eggs?”
“Over medium?” he asked. She raised an eyebrow and pointed her finger at him.
“Testing me to see if I’m domesticated?” Chuck gave her a look, and she laughed. “I’m just teasing, but I’m serious about the bed.” Chuck reddened just a bit.
“You know I’m in the same clothes from last night so I’ll go take a shower,” he said heading upstairs.
“Since you haven’t unpacked everything yet, it won’t take long to move it down to my room, or our room, if you want,” she said, with a grin he couldn’t see. Chuck nearly sprinted up the stairs. Emma smacked her shoulder, both of them laughing.
“You are evil,” Emma said.
“Did I go too far?” Sarah asked. Emma shook her head.
“He loves you, he’s just got to figure it all out,” Emma said.
}o{
A little while later, with everyone clothed, fed, and ready to go, Chuck saw the poster on the ground by the door.
“I can throw that out if you want me to,” Sarah said softly. Chuck turned to look at her, and took her hands.
“I need to apologize to you,” Chuck said. Emma’s ears perked up. “Last night, I found out that my father is Orion.” Emma was now stunned. “I found out my father made me do the same thing to my child that he did to me. I wanted to rid myself of everything of him, including this,” he said, looking down at the poster. “But I couldn’t,” he said lowering his head. “I understand now. At the end of the day, your choice was your father or a guy you knew for four days. I get it. I even believe you love me and still made that choice, because I get it. I’m sorry my father put you through that. No one should ever have to make that choice, because there is no right answer.” Sarah grabbed him and held him tight.
“I told you when we started this, just be honest,” she said. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for not taking advantage of me last night, because you easily could have,” Chuck said, grinning pulling away.
“I can behave,” she said smirking.
“I’m going to be late, I have to get to work,” he said, and bolted out the door.
“How long until he realizes he’s riding with you?” Emma asked.
“Oh, he’s already figured it out,” Sarah said, smiling. “The question is, does he come back in here and admit it.” The door opened and there stood a very embarrassed Chuck. “Come on,” she said with the biggest grin on her face. “You’re riding with me.” Chuck dropped his head and followed her.
}o{
Buy More, Burbank
Morgan started to walk into the Buy More. It wasn’t the same as it used to be without Chuck, and now Jeff has a partner in crime in Lester. They had already started calling themselves Jeffster. Morgan sighed, and prepared to enter, when someone grabbed his arm.
“Mr. B!” Morgan yelled.
“Shh!” Stephen said. “You have to tell Chuck something for me. You have to tell him he can’t trust her, she’s a queen and he can’t trust her.”
“Have you thought about switching to decaf, Mr. B?” he asked.
“TELL HIM!” Stephen yelled, and then he was gone. Morgan stood there, confused.
}o{
Simi Valley
“Sorry about that,” Chuck said. “It’s a little weird, not only did I find you, but we have a child, and your mom is there, and I feel like she is so judging me.”
“Chuck, you’re spiraling,” Sarah said.
“I know, I know,” he said. “But the weird thing is, I can talk and joke with her, but the idea that you and I ever…well…you know.”
“I do, I was there,” she replied. “And enjoyed it,” she added under her breath.
“I didn’t catch that,” Chuck said. Sarah shook her head with an innocent look on her face. He watched her a second and continued. “I just feel like she blames me for all this.”
“Mom blames you for nothing,” Sarah said. “In fact, she didn’t believe you could be as good a guy as I said you were. Being around you the past few days has proved it.” Chuck turned toward her worried. “You are better than advertised.” Chuck let out a breath.
“Sarah, remember how you asked me how you could win my trust?” Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. “Last night…you were there for me, and it was exactly what you promised it would be, thank you.”
“It was my pleasure, Chuck,” Sarah said smiling.
“Okay, we need to call Graham,” Chuck said.
“Uh, Chuck, he is the director of the CIA,” Sarah said. Chuck nodded.
“So either he lied to us, or he doesn’t know my father is Orion,” Chuck said.
“If they do, what good will it do, if they don’t they could come get him,” Sarah said.
“Let them,” Chuck said coldly. “He promised them something to get them to agree to keep us apart.”
“I don’t like this,” Sarah said softly. Chuck nodded.
“I’m not thrilled, but we don’t have the full story, and we deserve it,” Chuck said. He swallowed, and looked straight ahead. “For the record, I do enjoy sleeping with you. I’m just afraid.” Sarah nodded, but grinned.
“You should be,” she said, and laughed at the red spreading across Chuck’s ears. She found her phone, pulled it out, and dialed the number.
“Graham, secure,” he said.
“Walker, secure and with Chuck,” she replied, winking at him. Chuck grinned.
“Am I about to get cussed again?” he asked.
“Maybe,” she replied.
“Put him on,” Graham sighed. Chuck took the phone.
“Director, sir, I hate to bother you, but I was contacted by Orion last night,” Chuck said.
“YOU WERE WHAT!?!” Sarah was taken aback by the response she heard across the car.
“Got one more for you, he told me I was his son,” Chuck replied. There was complete silence. “But, you already knew that didn’t you.”
“Chuck, I’m sorry, this is so highly classified,” Graham tried to explain.
“Save it,” Chuck said. “He told me again, to get out of the house.”
“Did he say anything else?” Graham asked. Chuck looked a little embarrassed. Sarah took the phone.
“Sir, he didn’t get the chance because Chuck let him have it,” Sarah said.
“As bad as me?” Graham asked, amused.
“Sir, yours was a Sunday picnic compared to what Chuck did to his father.” Sarah heard Graham chuckle.
“If he contacts you again, let me know,” he said, and hung up.
“That went well,” she said. Chuck sat there in thought.
“He said last time that Orion was married to his CIA handler,” Chuck said softly.
“Chuck, your father and mother worked for the CIA?” Sarah asked, confused.
“This is the first I’m hearing about it,” he said.
}o{
Langley
Graham thought long and hard and picked up the phone.
“Graham, secure,” he said. He listened for a second. “Orion has revealed himself. Yes, they called and confirmed. I agree. I don’t like it either, but they need someone. I agree, General, this is not what we hoped for. I don’t think that’s necessary, yet. I will. Have him call to verify me. You too, General.” Graham hung up the phone. “Chuck and Sarah, what have you two gotten yourselves into?”
}o{
Simi Valley
Chuck was hard at work. Whoever had created the cyber security for Truffaut Industries wasn’t very good. Chuck had Molly on his lap as he typed in code. He had her click enter sometimes for him, and sometimes he would explain what he was doing, but the little girl was just happy being there with her father. He felt, rather than heard the person behind him.
“I got you your email back, now what?” Chuck asked, turning in his chair, preparing to mess with Emma. He was happily surprised to see Sarah.
“Mama!” Molly yelled holding her hands out.
“Hey baby girl!” Sarah said, picking her up. “Are you showing Daddy how to use the computers?”
“Yep!”
“Do you think Daddy should sleep in the same bed as me?”
“Yep!” Sarah beamed at Molly and looked at Chuck, who had an amused look on his face.
“That is low down, Sarah,” Chuck said. Sarah bounced a shoulder, clearly not caring and had an amused smirk on her face.
“What are you doing?” Sarah asked.
“Uh, giving you some actual cyber security,” Chuck replied.
“Chuck, I have the best cyber security money can buy,” she said, a little confused. Chuck grinned.
“The security I can give is not for sale,” he answered.
“No, Chuck, you don’t understand, I literally have the best cyber security money can buy, I’m contracting it out to this company as part of our security measures,” Sarah said, worried. Chuck gave her a look.
“Look, I know I’m your employee, but-” he began.
“Chuck, what’s mine is yours,” she said with a very pointed look. His ears went red again.
“Anyway,” he squeaked out. “This isn’t good. I mean I could hack it in a matter of minutes.”
“Give me a second,” she said, handing Molly back to Chuck.
“Do you like me living with you?” Chuck asked. Molly nodded and hugged her father. “Don’t tell your mother, but I’m not going anywhere.” Molly grinned. “In fact, if I was honest with myself, I probably love her, I just gotta figure some things out.” Sarah walked back into the room, and swapped the contract for Molly. Chuck began to go through the contract.
“I love you,” Sarah said to Molly. Chuck looked up and grinned at the two interacting.
“Love you,” Molly said. “Daddy too.”
“I love you, Pumpkin,” Chuck said.
“No, Daddy love Mommy,” Molly said. Sarah slowly turned to look at Chuck who was very busy studying legal jumbo on a page.
“I believe what you’re looking for is on page four, Dear,” she said, grinning.
“Well, Sweetie,” he replied, making her grin grow. “It appears your being fleeced.” Sarah sighed. He was going to avoid them and talk about work. That was fine, she would play his silly little game…for now.
“It was the best offer I could get just starting out,” she said. Chuck nodded in appreciation.
“This, Verbanski Corporation is pretty slick,” Chuck said. “They give you peanuts for you setting up clients with their product, and then when it comes time to renew, they could come along tell your client that it’s their computer security and they have a much larger corporation.”
“They had me over a barrel,” she said. “I was desperate.” Chuck looked mad. “Are you okay?”
“No,” he said. “She took advantage of my girl and I’m not going to let that slide.” He turned around and began typing. Sarah’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. He had said my girl. Talking about her. She put her right hand on his shoulder as he typed as she held Molly in the left one. He was doing something with the mouse with his right, and he reached across and held her hand on his shoulder. She leaned down.
“You know I can take care of myself,” she said softly into his ear. He squirmed a little in his chair.
“It never hurts to have someone who cares about you having your back,” he replied.
“Cares?” she said, still inches from his ear. “Our daughter thinks it’s love.”
“Well, kids, you know,” Chuck stammered. “They hear things, take it the wrong way. Tell secrets they aren’t supposed to.”
“It’s okay, Chuck,” she said, grinning hard, and feeling the happiest she could ever remember feeling. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
“Awful confident,” he said, his voice going up an octave.
“I don’t fail missions,” she said, patted him on the shoulder, and left the room.
“I hate you, Dad,” he said softly. “Two years you’ve cost me.”
“I don’t see him here now,” Emma said. Chuck jerked up, having not heard her come in.
“What do you mean?” Chuck asked.
“He kept you two apart,” she said. “Who’s keeping you two apart now?” she asked with a pointed look.
“It’s not that simple,” Chuck said. Emma shrugged.
“You both love each other,” she said. “Everything else is details. You both know you’re going to be together, so the question is why are you keeping the two of you apart?”
“My heart says to go with it,” Chuck said. “But my head…the last time we were together…she left me.”
“Chuck, you are in her house, her company, and her life,” Emma said smiling. “You’re scared of getting hurt, and that’s the long and the short of it. Use that brain of yours for something other than making yourself miserable, because that is all you are doing.” She gave him a tight smile and left. Chuck sat there a second.
“I really hate you, Dad,” Chuck said, tears falling down his face.
}o{
Sarah found herself on the phone with a frantic Gertrude Verbanski. Sarah had never in her life used that term to describe Verbanski, but that’s exactly how she sounded. An email came to her from Chuck that was marked urgent. She read it while Gertrude continued to fume and had to bite the inside of her cheek to not giggle.
“Gertrude, my IT person is just showing you that we have a legitimate out clause in our contract. It clearly states that if we can find a better security program that our contract is null and void,” Sarah said.
“Sarah, my people will have it gone by the end of the day,” Gertrude said. “You are not getting out of the contract.”
“Verbanski, your people have no chance,” she said, knowing if Chuck told her they couldn’t break it, they couldn’t. “I’ll make you a deal, you have until the end of the day to let us out of our contract, and sign one giving you the same terms you gave us.”
“That’s robbery!” she shouted.
“You should know, you got me to sign the same contract,” Sarah replied, coolly. “However if I don’t hear from you by four I’ll go to my lawyers, and I won’t have the virus removed, because if I did, how could I prove my legal point.” Verbanski grumbled something and hung up. Sarah sat there quite pleased with herself. Her phone rang and she picked it up. “Truffaut Industries, Sarah Walker speaking, how may I help you?” She listened for a second and fought off a groan. She checked her email like she was told and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “So basically his salary is paid, and he’s to work for us, plus we get this contract. Done. When can he start? Tomorrow? I’ll have to see about getting him an office set up, but that shouldn’t be a problem. No, thank you.” She hung up as Chuck stuck his head into her office.
“Hey sexy,” she said. “What’s up?”
“Is that sexual harassment?” Chuck asked.
“Chuck you’re a one-third owner, how can that be?” she asked.
“I’m what?” he asked. She pulled out the newest legal paperwork.
“You need to sign, here, and here, but wait until we have some witnesses,” she said.
“Sarah, this is too much,” he said. She shook her head.
“No, it isn’t,” she explained. “I am partners with the people I trust.” She looked him right into his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere Chuck Bartowski, and if you sign this neither are you.” He looked Sarah right in the eye.
“Sarah, regardless if I sign this or not, I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “My daughter’s here.” He paused a second, and decided if he was going to be honest, he was going to be honest. “Even if she wasn’t, you’re here.” They were silent for a second. She stood and looked him right in the eye.
“Well, where does that leave us?” she asked softly. Chuck shook his head.
“I don’t know,” he answered. “What do you do when your heart and brain are at war?”
“Make peace,” she said. Chuck nodded. “Not to change the subject, but we do have a new employee starting tomorrow. We got a new contract, the government is going to pay his salary, and he will handle our security in the office, and we can use him out in the field.” Chuck nodded.
“Do you have his name?” Chuck asked.
“Casey,” Sarah said, studying the email. “John Casey…that’s funny, I think I knew of a John Casey in the NSA.” Chuck looked at Sarah.
“Why do I get the feeling that this has something to do with my dad?” Chuck asked.
“Trust your feelings, Chuck,” Sarah said. “They were my best asset as a spy and as a person.”
“Huh,” Chuck said. “Are you talking about you, or this Casey guy?” Sarah shrugged as Chuck walked out. He winked at her. Sarah watched him go.
“I swear to God if this Casey does something to get between Chuck and I, I will gut him like a fish,” she grumbled to herself.
}o{
Casa de Walker y Truffaut y Bartowski
It had been a long day. Verbanski had shown up at 3:30 with a new contract, exactly as Sarah had stipulated, the papers were signed, plus the new ownership papers. In just a few days, Chuck had gone from a member of the nerd herd making $11.00 an hour to owning a part of a security company making serious money, found out he was a father, and had a…girlfriend? Chuck had put Molly to bed that night, and came back and watched a movie with Sarah on the couch. After it was over, Sarah went to bed and told him not to stay up to late. She winked at him before she went in her room. When he finally decided enough was enough, he got up, and walked to her door, but paused. He shook his head, went upstairs, got ready, and crawled into bed. He had been lying there a little over a minute when the door opened.
“Sarah, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“My feet are cold, Chuck,” she said, starting to get into bed. He put a hand on her shoulder, gently, to stop her from getting in the bed.
“Sarah,” he began.
“Chuck, I swear to you I am not up to anything, but I sleep better with you and my feet are cold,” she said, determinedly. His hand didn’t move, and he began to slide her direction.
“I know,” he replied. She was staring daggers at him. “I also know you prefer that side,” he said, nodding his head on the side of the bed he had been lying on. She smiled, walked around, lifted up the covers, and slid in, taking her normal place in the crook of his arm, her head on his chest.
“Thank you, Chuck,” she said softly. He lay there a minute, quietly.
“So, I was thinking, how about we go on a date?” he asked. He felt the smile on her face against his chest.
“Okay,” she said.
“You know the being honest thing?” Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. “I’ve been abandoned by a lot of the people I love my whole life.” Sarah’s mind began to race. Did he just say he loved her, and if he did he had just included her in the part about abandoning him. “I’m more than a little scared.”
“I understand,” she said.
“That’s why we gotta take this slow,” he said. “That’s why I don’t want to sleep with you.”
“Because you can’t control yourself?” Sarah asked. “And how is any of that my fault?”
“It’s not your fault,” Chuck replied quickly, and Sarah grinned. “I just kinda lose my head around you. You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”
“Okay, honesty?” Sarah asked. Chuck nodded, she was looking straight in his eyes now, her chin barely resting on his chest. “You can either move down to my room, or I’m going to come in here every night.”
“Sarah,” Chuck said, whining. She shrugged.
“You wanted honesty,” she said. “But here’s the deal, Chuck, I’ve lived the past three years with so many regrets, and I’m not doing it anymore. I know I can’t have what I want, but this I need. You close, Molly close, if I can’t ever have the family legally together, than I can at least have them nearby. I know you won’t take advantage of me. I know how you feel about me, both good and bad, and whatever you decide we should do or be, I will live with, but I need this, Chuck.”
“I have no chance do I?” he asked, sincerely. “I mean this is how it starts. I’m not saying you’re using your spy skills, or seducing, I mean you are just being as honest and as straight forward as you can be, and you know me. You know that at some point you’re going to get it all, right? You know I’ve never said that we can’t be, because…I think we can.” Sarah grinned at him.
“Chuck, I don’t think we can,” she said, and there was the look she hoped she would see, the one of disappointment. This wasn’t a test, this was her being honest, but it felt good to have her suspicions confirmed. “I know we can.” Chuck grinned. She lay her head down on his chest. “You set the pace.”
“What if I change my mind?” he asked. She didn’t move. “On the pace,” he clarified. She shrugged.
“Good night, Chuck. I love you,” she said, closing her eyes. There was silence.
“I love you, Sarah,” he said. She sighed contently.
“About time you figured it out,” she said. “We’re moving downstairs in the morning, my bed is more comfortable.”
“I’m glad you got assigned to me,” he said softly. Sarah held him tight, and for the first time in a very long time, she felt like things were going to be okay.
A/N: Next: Casey…Morgan…If I drown tonight bring me back to life. Breathe your breath in me. The only thing that I still believe in is you, if you only knew…Until next time.
DC